Happy Valentines Day, limatons!

Won’t even say I’m mad about my son kicking me out of the house to have sex with Goobs, cus I got myself a hot date!

the-former-warbler:

the-sebsmythe:

the-former-warbler:

the-sebsmythe:

No? No what?
I’m so sorry, B. He just… He showed up and demanded I come with him because, here’s the kicker, he was getting married. Him and Mom have joint custody, so technically she couldn’t say no. It was awful.

I meant no as in I’m sorry you had to go with him. He got married. Ugh. 

Oh, jeez. Thanks, babe. I survived, at least. Wife number two is so much worse than my mom.

Newsflash. Everyone is worse than your mom. 

Well aren’t you just the sweetest?

(Source: sourdiezplease)

Text to Goob and Sebby:

Liz: Just got in! Hope y’all aren’t having sex, because I need someone to come get me!

Just packed the last of everything up!

theformerwarbler:

lizsmythe:

the-seb-smythe:

theformerwarbler:

lizsmythe:

My plane leaves in the morning.
Can’t wait to be back in the big city with my boys!

COME TO ME, MAMA L!

^^^
Call me before you get on! Blainers and I’ll meet you at the airport!

EXCITED FOR MY GOOBER HUGS!

Course, baby! Can’t wait.

Prepare thyself!

LOVE YOU!

Boobs! There are boobs on the dash! ALIGHJSDFKA

theformerwarbler:

Deep breaths, Goob. You were suckin on em at one point!

Just packed the last of everything up!

the-seb-smythe:

theformerwarbler:

lizsmythe:

My plane leaves in the morning.
Can’t wait to be back in the big city with my boys!

COME TO ME, MAMA L!

^^^
Call me before you get on! Blainers and I’ll meet you at the airport!

EXCITED FOR MY GOOBER HUGS!

Course, baby! Can’t wait.

Just packed the last of everything up!

My plane leaves in the morning.
Can’t wait to be back in the big city with my boys!

I can’t. I just can’t with this town anymore.

the-seb-smythe:

lizsmythe:

I miss my boys and Cal too much.
I think… I think I might go back to the condo.

Y-you’re… Moving back?
Oh thank the sweet lord. We need you, mom…

Aww! That’s it. First flight I can get.
And I figured youre going to need some help anyways, what with the pregnant one on your hands :)

I can’t. I just can’t with this town anymore.

theformerwarbler:

lizsmythe:

theformerwarbler:

lizsmythe:

I miss my boys and Cal too much.
I think… I think I might go back to the condo.

I’ll take that as a “Yes, Mama L! We’ve missed you so much!”?

I’ve missed you too, Goob. Too much! Business is better in New York, anyways.